He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
