It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
