I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i need an iv and a liver transplant
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What drink are we having for lunch?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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