I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
