Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
