She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
