So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
People in love make me want to vomit
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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