READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
