Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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