Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro

(630): View more from Illinois

I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth

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(212): I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro (630): I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth http://tfl.nu/vvtz

Replies (34) Good night (1011) Bad night (2497)
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(281): View more from Texas

3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.

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(281): 3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals. http://tfl.nu/21ij

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(818): View more from California

Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.

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(818): Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs. http://tfl.nu/c051

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(613): View more from Ontario

So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.

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(613): So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success. http://tfl.nu/o5kx

Replies (7) Good night (5374) Bad night (757)
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(410): View more from Maryland

You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.

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(410): You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad. http://tfl.nu/7eya

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(843): View more from South Carolina

He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.

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(843): He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name. http://tfl.nu/s3qy

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(319): View more from Iowa

he asked me to smell his eyeballs.

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(319): he asked me to smell his eyeballs. http://tfl.nu/b2rr

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(630): View more from Illinois

I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.

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(630): I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing. http://tfl.nu/6g2i

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(509): View more from Washington

I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?

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(509): I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become? http://tfl.nu/prj3

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.

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(508): in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar. http://tfl.nu/rqsf

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(408): View more from California

I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete

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(408): I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete http://tfl.nu/3qb5

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(705): View more from Ontario

I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.

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(705): I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night. http://tfl.nu/p7qx

Replies (1) Good night (1366) Bad night (734)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.

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(651): I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his. http://tfl.nu/2lgm

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(937): View more from Ohio

When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.

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(937): When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary. http://tfl.nu/v8si

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(310): View more from California

I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.

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(310): I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me. http://tfl.nu/btwi

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