I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
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