what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
