Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize