She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
