Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
