Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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