"it" just moved
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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