so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
