shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Randomize
