i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
she looked like the before picture.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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