i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
