I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
