i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
