Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
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we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
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I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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