we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
