So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
