You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
