I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
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It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
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It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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