I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
this is an emotional support booty call
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
