it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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