That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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