Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i think i have two assholes
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
