i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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