i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
