AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
