Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize