we're blogging at a bar
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
