3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
she woke up with a sticky ear
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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