My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
he's gonorrhea incarnate
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Randomize
