Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
