All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
