WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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