Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
