We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
