she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
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I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
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Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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