My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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