Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
