Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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