Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
