If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
