so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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