and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
