ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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