My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
