Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
