I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
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