There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
The air taste purple.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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