i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
