the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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