she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
