we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Never underestimate the power of titties
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
