I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
